The Gigantic Gauntlet
Look at his biceps man, it super huge!
“I don’t need a pillow! ”
Go go go! Pull your heart out!
I wonder if there’s any t-shirt that could fit those arms.
Archive for July, 2008
Masturbate Makes You Blind
A little boy was in his room playing with himself, when his father walked in.
“Son! If you masturbate too much, you’re gonna go blind!”
“Dad,” the boy said, “I’m over here.“
Muldoon and His Dead Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’
Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’
Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya ‘think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’
Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?’
The Married Irish Man Affair
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’
The priest said , ‘What do you mean, almost?’
The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’
The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’
The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’
Stop Playing With Your Hand!
Joe and Mike were visiting one day and Joe said,
“My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”
“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replied.
“There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars … a lot cheaper than a doctor.” Read more »
10 Brain Damaging Habits
1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level.
This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.
2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.
3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.
4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.
5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency. Read more »
Silent Inspiration
The story of a legless girl.
Aren’t you thankful you were born perfect?
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